The following content contains detailed descriptions of how to use your household pasta for annoying, harmful, even destructive purposes. Although there is nothing here that is unsuitable for minors, police or people who get shocked easily, this site may offend people who suffer from TPS (tramatic penne syndrome) and who may not wish to re-live painful memories of an unfortunate accident with some tagliatelle. This site may also upset people who treat pasta as their friend, talk to their pasta, perhaps have relationships with lasagna. Friends of pasta are advised not to enter this site. If you use spaghetti for sexual purposes, we advise that you do not view this site, and you see a doctor.

The pasta under the bedsheets activists will also encourage you to use pasta to annoy people you know. We think this is funny, but because of the wonderful people we are and the respect we command for our jovial ways, no-one beats us up for our pasta misdeeds. If you think that using pasta to annoy people may get you a swift kicking in the head from a victim, or maybe a good smacking with a frying pan from an angry spouse, we advise that you proceed no further. The pasta under the bedsheets activists cannot take responsibility for you getting a hiding from someone larger than you - we suggest that for safety purposes you use the following information to irritate people younger, smaller and weaker than you.

Do you think you can take the pasta related malarky ahead? You're hard you are!

Wimping out huh? I bet you love pasta in unhealthy ways, you do. Bloody weirdo.

---